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04. May 2005

Why ninjas are better than pirates

Ninjas are more bad ass than pirates!
Ninjas have better hygiene, and they are less wasteful.
Ninjas always put the toilet seat down and wash their hands after going to the bathroom.
Ninjas kill everyone and they smell like fresh flowers.
Pirates are covered in guts and man-spackle. They have food in their teeth.

Ninjas also have magical ninjutsu powers and better credit at the bank.
Pirates have a slow payment history.
Ninjas eat more grains and are very regular.
Ninjas can kill with one finger.
Pirates dress like 80's hair metal bands.

Pirates are confused about their sexuality and overcompensate with excessive displays of macho bravado.
Ninjas listen to classical music, know the future, and are very confident.
Ninjas get all the hot girls, also, hot girls are ninjas!
Ninjas can kill someone and still get in an up-skirt shot.
Also ninjas rule!

Ninjas know how to cook without leaving a big mess.
Pirates wipe back to front, and they never wash.
Pirates are all co-dependent.
Ninjas make complicated desserts, like chocolate fondue or homemade ice-cream.
Ninjas are excellent hosts and know how to use a napkin.

Pirates leave their smelly socks in the middle of the floor.
Ninjas eat loads of fruit and vegetables and are all disease free.
Ninjas are polite and pleasant to be around and always offer to do the dishes after dinner.
Ninjas like to give back-rubs without being asked, and they will tell you that you look nice and mean it.
Ninjas can levitate and run up walls.

Pirates never vote.
Pirates are cruel to animals, children, and old people.
Pirates never call when they say they are going to.
Ninjas will always bring some interesting video when they come to visit.

Pirates have fleas and old food particles stuck in their beards.
Pirates are thoughtless and will never hold the door for you.
Ninjas kick ass and are never wrinkly.
Pirates talk too much and never allow you to finish what you are saying.
Pirates often have colitis.

Ninjas can become invisible and always have sweets for visiting children.
Ninjas are very polite and never forget to say please and thank you.
Ninjas will send you poems to show you that they really care about you.
Also pirates sucks!

Published: 04. May 2005. Tagged: , .