In more recent politically correct times, the nursery rhyme has come under criticism for having racially discriminatory undertones. [...] More recently, in 2006, a nursey school in Abingdon, Oxfordshire, England have contrived a version which contains the phrase “rainbow sheep”. They claim this was for “educational reasons” and not for any reasons concerning race discrimination.

The subtle use of the word contrived in the quote is simply delightful. For those of you not entirely familiar with the word, here are two entries from my dictionary.

Contrived

“Deliberately created rather than arising naturally or spontaneously.”

“Manage to do something foolish or create an undesirable situation.”

The whole “racially discriminatory” thing is farcical of course, as the rhyme may date back as far as the middle ages. Effectively predating modern racial hate by a good couple of hundred years. Additionally, in it’s older-ending form the rhyme criticized social imbalance:

Two for the master,
one for the dame,
but none for the little boy
who lives down the lane.

I’ve long since stopped expecting people to stop and think about their actions (I certainly know how frequently I fail at this). But wikipedia user 213.9.220.254, who so beutifully selected contrived in that excerpt; I salute you!

Tanka um vorið
á öðrum sumardegi

Helvítis fuglar!
hættið strax að trufla mig
ég er að reyna
að yrkja ljóð um vorið
snautið ykkur skammirnar

Í boði Bassastingsins

You will reach
the poem's end.

Soon.

If you keep pressing
the enter key.

:Captain Ahab his harpoon shot
:out to the deep black sea.
:The missle loudly clove the air
:too quick for the eye to see.

Móbí Dikk um sæinn svam
með silalegri hægð.
en í því að þiggja Eirabs gjöf
var engin dýrinu þægð.

:Moby Dick the sea did swim
:slowly and leisurely.
:But subscribing to Ahabs little gift
:the animal wouldn’t agree.

[[http://borgar.undraland.com/mp3/?download=c820e862f9b39aabc2ab969afc51f6da|Skutullinn]] hæfði hafsins borð
á hol gekk hann Rán og Unni,
en vikið þá hafði sér hyldjúpsins burr
undan hárbeyttri sendingunni.

:The harpoon hit the salty surface
:and tore through Neptune’s yard,
:but shifted had then the ocean’s heir
:from the sharpened greetingcard.

^^Þetta er í tilefni þess að ég var að opna ljóða flokkinn minn almenningi. Svona er auðvitað bæði ekki hægt og stranglega bannað. En það er samt gaman að leika sér. Fyrri aðför að sama skáldi má lesa [[http://borgar.undraland.com/s/2003/12/02/03.09.11/|hér]].^^

Ninjas are more bad ass than pirates!
Ninjas have better hygiene, and they are less wasteful.
Ninjas always put the toilet seat down and wash their hands after going to the bathroom.
Ninjas kill everyone and they smell like fresh flowers.
Pirates are covered in guts and man-spackle. They have food in their teeth.

Ninjas also have magical ninjutsu powers and better credit at the bank.
Pirates have a slow payment history.
Ninjas eat more grains and are very regular.
Ninjas can kill with one finger.
Pirates dress like 80's hair metal bands.

Pirates are confused about their sexuality and overcompensate with excessive displays of macho bravado.
Ninjas listen to classical music, know the future, and are very confident.
Ninjas get all the hot girls, also, hot girls are ninjas!
Ninjas can kill someone and still get in an up-skirt shot.
Also ninjas rule!

Ninjas know how to cook without leaving a big mess.
Pirates wipe back to front, and they never wash.
Pirates are all co-dependent.
Ninjas make complicated desserts, like chocolate fondue or homemade ice-cream.
Ninjas are excellent hosts and know how to use a napkin.

Pirates leave their smelly socks in the middle of the floor.
Ninjas eat loads of fruit and vegetables and are all disease free.
Ninjas are polite and pleasant to be around and always offer to do the dishes after dinner.
Ninjas like to give backrubs without being asked, and they will tell you that you look nice and mean it.
Ninjas can levitate and run up walls.

Pirates never vote.
Pirates are cruel to animals, children, and old people.
Pirates never call when they say they are going to.
Ninjas will always bring some interesting video when they come to visit.

Pirates have fleas and old food particles stuck in their beards.
Pirates are thoughtless and will never hold the door for you.
Ninjas kick ass and are never wrinkly.
Pirates talk too much and never allow you to finish what you are saying.
Pirates often have colitis.

Ninjas can become invisible and always have sweets for visiting children.
Ninjas are very polite and never forget to say please and thank you.
Ninjas will send you poems to show you that they really care about you.
Also pirates sucks!

(Made with a little help from a [[http://betsuni.typepad.com/adda/|friend]])